Everybody's a Winner

Hi Parents...I hear a lot of chatter from parent's about children who participate in competitive activities getting trophies, ribbons, etc. even if they' re not the winner.  I find that parents are divided into two groups.  Some think everyone should be rewarded no matter how well they performed.  Some think it's silly to reward your child for just showing up.  I have to say that in my opinion this is not as black and white as that. I think when your child is learning an activity it's important to see and acknowledge the effort they are putting into it. That's a reward in itself.   When a child is old enough to compete in a specific activity, that's when they have to realize there is only one winner and one prize.  It's not easy to see your child loose but it's part of growing up.  Look at it as training for the real world.  It's competitive out there!   When children grow up and compete for jobs, there is no trophy for almost getting the job.  When your child doesn't come in first, look at it as a learning experience.  Give them permission to feel bad.  Ask them questions like "do you think you need more practice...is a different technique worth a try?"  Be on their side and show compassion but don't give praise and say things like "you got robbed".  Children are smart...they see right through that.  So maybe everyone on the team doesn't get the trophy but your child gets the gift of a strong parent who by his side.  If you have any opinions or comments, contact me...I'd love to hear from you,
Happy Parenting