Loving Relationships with your Adult Children

 
It is very disturbing to me that more and more adults are deciding NOT to have a relationship with their parents.   The children of divorced parents many times blame one parent and decide they will never talk to them again.  The children of controlling parents (who can't accept that they need to make their own decisions without feeling guilty or worthless) come to the realizitation that nothing they do will be good enough so they stop trying to make the relationship work.  Then there are children who make life choices that their parents can't live with and the rejection makes them too angry and hurt to have them in their lives.  Some adult children feel that it's better to cut ties than continue to try just because they are family. These decisions come at a very, very high price.  The family unit is paramount to our well being (children and parents. )  Parents...there are a few things we can do to give us the best chance at a loving relationship with our adult child.  Take honest and sincere responsibility for your part of the problem.   Listen carefully to their side of the story.  Repeat what you heard if necessary.  Be patient!  Even if you are ready to mend the relationship, your child may not be, so hang in there and keep trying.  Vow to love your children unconditionally (even if you don't love what they do or who they do it with).  Stop the tapes in your head about being entitled to respect just because you are the parent.  Our children need us at every age...and we need them.  If you or anyone you know would benefit from individual coaching on this, please contact me.